The Moogle Army
by THE Oddwolf Dragon
Summary: An army of moogles to fight a new threat that wants to conquer the world the Darkanians, who somehow found their way into Mewt's fantasy world. The new recruits to this army are idiots. Loveable idiots.
1. Chapter 1: Hi, Nick

**Backstory: This entire thing. Is based on a real life session on the game Furcadia, in which several friends spammed a dream with half couches in a dream with moogles in an army. Screenshots and logs of this can be seen on the website of one of the spammers (Zeki.) Ranul, Zeki, Summer Hunter, Reds and Nick (Forget Reds and Nick's real usernames, but they should know who they are, especially Nick. XD) are all real people and their characters are copyrighted to them. The last names have little stories behind them; Zeki has an alt named Harixe, so that's her moogle's last name. Ranul has an alt named Lunarsoul, and Ran's name backwards is Lunar, so I took 'Soul' and made it backwards for his last name (though it looks like 'louse'.) Summer Hunter is actually Sum's real Furc name. Reds's full Furc name I think was something like Reds Sunset, but I don't know for sure. Same with Nick; the second part of his name has eluded my memory.  
OH YEAH. Moogles are not my creation. I DISCLAIM THEM AND THE ACTUAL CHARACTERZ IN THIS FIC OF DOOOOOOOM. I didn't get the actual peoples' permission to use their characters because A, they were never online when I were. B, I didn't know Reds and Nick's full Furc names. and C, I'm lazy. Sorries, guys. Oh, and these moogles like are the Final Fantasy Tatics Advance moogles because they have bigger ears. Hence why it's listed under Final Fantasy Tatics Advance. And this place takes place faaaaaaaaar away from Ivalice. It's the island that was mentioned in that mission where you had to send Life Water... the cry from help came from Nick. xD**

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Desperation tends to win over our common sense. Nick Osny was a normal moogle commander in the war against the Darkanians. And the supply of new recruits was getting lower and lower as the days went by. What possessed Commander Osny to recruit the four biggest idiots in the entire universe? The world may never know. The idiots? Ranul Lous, Zeki Harixe, Summer Hunter and Reds Sunset. The day Nick took in the said four moogles, he was in for it.

It wasn't that Ranul, Zeki, Summer and Reds had a small mental capacity. The four were actually quite intelligent. Part of the reason was that they didn't give a damn about being in the army. Another part of it was that they had very short attention spans. And Zeki enjoyed killing things. But that is not relevant to the story at the moment. We shall continue on Zeki's love of killing things later on.

"Alright, kupo, pick a gun and let's get started on your training," Commander Osny said, opening the door to the armoury, informally called the gun room. The white moogle wore a navy blue jacket and a green helmet. The helmet had two openings for his long ears to stick out of and the little… fuzzy ball thing on a string that all moogles have just stuck out under the helmet. A black moogle flew over his commander's head and began looking at the guns.

"Whoa, dude! Zeki, get a load o' this crap!" the black furred moogle yelled, picking up the gun closest to him and pulling its trigger. Nothing came out of it. The black moogle, Ranul, growled at it, narrowing his light green eyes.

"The guns only work in train-" The commander moogle was cut off by a white moogle named Zeki darting into the gun room past him.

"Holy shizzle! I want ten!" Zeki said, completely ignoring Commander Osny's instructions that only one moogle was allowed in the gun room at a time. She began picking up as many guns as she could carry. That being four.

"Zeeeeeeeeeeki," A dust brown moogle whined and looked over Osny's shoulder, blinking her blue eyes. "Throw me one! I want to shoot Reds!"

"No way, Summer, come get your own!" Zeki called back, getting a dangerous look on her face as Osny tried to wrench three of the guns Zeki had claimed from her paws.

"I'm too lazy," Summer said, sitting down, remembering her anger toward Reds for picking up the gil she had supposedly spotted on the ground first. She glared at Reds, sticking her tongue out at him and blowing a raspberry.

Commander Osny groaned. Where had these idiots come from? No wonder their parents probably abandoned them. Well. You can turn any fool into a soldier. One that could at least shoot down one Darkanian. That was his logic. And his logic was going to be broken soon.

"Summer, don't be mad 'cause I'm pretty," A red moogle, aptly called Reds pushed Osny aside, causing the said commander to trip and nearly fall onto Summer, who squealed in fear in reply, but was too lazy to move if the commander did end up falling on her.

"Why won't this thing shoot!" Ranul threw his gun on the ground, deciding it was broken and stole three of Zeki's guns, handing one to Reds and throwing the other at Summer's head. Ranul kept the third gun to himself. Osny gave the four stooges a false smile as they all seemed happy with their firearms. Summer stood up and half a couch appeared under her. She earned an odd look from everyone else and Nick used a vacuum to suck it up.

"Alright, kupo," Nick said. "Follow me to the training area. That's where we'll see if you're worth a single thing, kupo."

"The entire 'kupo' thing makes him sound a lot less threatening," Zeki whispered to Reds all four of the new recruits followed their disrespected commander. Reds nodded, aiming his gun at the commander's back and pulling back on the trigger. However, if any of them had listened or had any common sense, they would know the guns would only shoot when they were loaded and only worked in training areas. In Summer's case, when it was turned on, as she had a lazer gun.

The hallways were long and dark looking. Everyone was silent because Osny promised to let them shoot him if they remained quiet until he told them they could talk. Osny was planning to never let them talk. Unfortunately, the story would be very boring with a muted quartet of morons, so we shall find a way to make them start calling each other dumbasses momentarily.

"I'm hungry," Ranul complained. Everyone ignored him. Narrowing his green eyes to slits, the moogle bellowed. "Feed me!" His yell echoed down the hallway.

"Hey, Ran, I've got a message for you," Reds said.

"Yeah?"

The red moogle stopped walking and stepped in front of Ranul, who nearly had a Colette Brunel klutz moment as he avoided bumping into Reds while the red moogle began winking as he spoke a letter.  
"S," After the S, Reds closed his eyes and smiled in false joy. "T," In mock surprise, Reds's jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide. "F," Afterwards, he gave Ranul a cheesy grin. "U!" The message delivered, Reds turned around and ran on a bit to catch up with the rest of the group. Ranul growled and decided Reds was going to serve a short amount of time in the army as they ascended an abnormally large staircase, which according to Nick would take them to an elevator. Summer sat down while they were in the elevator, complaining that her feet hurt. When she stood up to get off, another half-couch appeared under her. Nobody noticed. The half-couch remained on the elevator.

"Alright, kupo, this is the training area," Nick Osny said as the other four moogles emerged from the elevator and entered a place with electric fences everywhere in place of walls. There was no ceiling, too. It never occurred to any of the four new recruits that if they hated this place, they could fly away from this point. "This is a haven, through that door-" Nick nodded at a black door to his left, which was the only way out of the 'haven', other than the elevator and the two staircases present. "-Is a training room, the only place your guns will actually work."

"What the hell? Why didn't you tell us before that our guns wouldn't work when we weren't in a freakin' training area?" Ranul demanded. Zeki began cursing as she dropped her gun on her foot, continuing to swear even after the pain subsided for the sake of using profanity. Summer started tap dancing as Reds sang, "I'm not wearing underwear today", complete with a perverted smile. Poor Nick.

"Shut up, kupo!" Calming himself, Nick fingered a medal on his green coat to remind himself of his status. "Down that green stairway-"

"Ohemgee!" Zeki screamed, causing everyone to cover their ears at the high pitched wail. "The stairway to heaven is stalking me!" Ranul responded to her spazzing by humming Led Zeppelin's famous song. Summer started doing the can-can to the song. Reds pointed and laughed at Nick, whose face was beginning to turn red in fury.

"ALL OF YOU. STAY QUIET FOR KUPO TWO MINUTES AND I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES," When the silence became absolute, the commander began speaking again. "Down the green stair_case_ is the mess hall, kupo. You eat food there. It's not a hall nor is it messy, if I can help it, kupo." Summer Hunter began squirming in anxiety. "Down the black staircase are the dormitories. You all will be privates if you pass the shooting test, so you will all share a room with other privates. You can tell who's higher ranked than you by their uniforms. Blue is the colour of privates, your rank. Brown uniforms means they're a lieutenants. Red's an officer"

"Oh, yeah, baby!" Reds grinned, then started doing a victory dance. "Didja hear that? I'm an officer already, that's how good I am! Woohoo!"

"No, kupo!" Nick snapped, fed up with the stupidity and vanity of Reds. "I mean red is the colour of an officer's uniform!" Reds's face was a mark of pseudo sorrow. "And green is commander, the highest rank here."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Zeki's jaw dropped. "You're a commander?"

Nick didn't even reply to the question. He was that sick of the idioicy that was the four new recruits. If this area hadn't been secured by electric fences, he'd throw them off, onto the hard ground below, where nobody would ever find their bodies.

Wouldn't we all.

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**LOL POOR NICK. You can bet the actual real people made him go through this type of thing. I heard from Ranul that he went AFK to eat a sandwich and came back to find his dream filled with half-couches.**

**And by the way, the idea of a moogle tap dancing and doing the can-can is a very funny image to me. I should do a flash movie of that.**


	2. Chapter 2: Satan Eats Cheez Whiz

**Whooo update. I own nothing but the story. Reds, Zeki, Ranul, Summer, Nick and Per are all copyrighted to their original owners.**

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In the training room, where the four insert synonym for idiots here had followed Nick, their commander had showed them how to handle their guns. Of course, they tuned out every word he said except for the part about shooting. That was the one five seconds they actually listened. And then they tried to shoot Nick. Within moments, all chaos broke loose and a monster named Zeki with a gun was unleashed.

"Die, die, die, die!" Zeki cackled hysterically, using up all the bullets in her gun faster than Ranul could chug a drink. Summer was using her lazer gun properly, though her aim was off and she ended up breaking windows. Reds and Ranul just sat and watched the girls try to kill Nick, having already fired all the bullets in their guns. One of them probably would have used physical violence on Nick, but were too afraid to be caught in the crossfire of the guns. Especially Zeki's, mostly because her aim was worse than Summer's. Once the bullets in Zeki's gun were gone, she threw her gun down like it was useless and crossed over to where the two male moogles were sitting. Summer got lazy and sat down.

"Never. Do. That. Again. Kupo." Nick said, articulating every word so they couldn't misinterpret what he said. "Or I'll feed you to Famfrit."

"What the hell is a Famfrit?" Reds asked.

"You dumbass! It's a type of fruit! DUH!" Zeki smacked Reds on the head (Oh a rhyme). Nick just stood there with a dumbfounded expression on his face, wondering how it was mooglely possible to be that idiotic. A new moogle for the new century.

"Off the topic of Famfrit for a moment," the commander went over to a chest of drawers, where he took out bullet-proof armour, which he put on quickly, knowing Summer could very well decide she was an active moogle again and shoot his brains out. Soon, he was completely covered in the protective suit. The other moogles didn't take this as an attempt to protect himself from their insanity.

"So, you're that self-conscious about your waist? We understand, Nick," Reds said, getting sympathetic nods from the rest of the moogles present. "It's all completely natural to feel that way around others, whether they are of the same sex or not. In fact, we support you one hundred percent." Here, they all gave Nick a big thumbs-up. Had they rehearsed this or something? "Now, you see, that thing in your pants is your love-meter, and it-"

"Shut up, kupo! I don't need you giving me kupo sex ed!" Nick bellowed.

"Hey, why do YOU get armour and we don't? Zeki could kill us too!" Zeki said, getting odd glances for speaking in the third person.

"Because, all of you are going back up to the haven, except for one of you. You'll all be given the test of admittance one at a time. Now, Zeki stays and the rest of you get lost."

Scared of the looks Zeki was getting on her face as Nick gave her more bullets to reload her gun with, Summer stood up, left a half-couch behind and followed Reds and Ranul out of the training area.

Within five minutes of waiting for the test to be over, all three were bored. They were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, but none of them were really using Rock, Paper or Scissors. Summer had held her index finger up and called it a Totema, which cannot be destroyed, Reds pointed at himself, saying that he could not be destroyed either and Ranul fell asleep during the middle of the game. What woke him up was a sudden burst of noise from down bellow and maniacal laughter.

"Zeki's probably failing miserably," Summer said. "Or she's already killed Nick"

"Yeah, I'm putting a bet on she was failing, then killed Nick," Ranul said, yawning. "Come on Reds, let's have one more round of Rock, Paper, Scissors."

"Rock-"

"Paper-

"Scissors"

"SHIT!" Summer screamed as she pulled a thumbtack out from under her that she just noticed she'd been sitting on for twenty minutes. Reds had done paper for the game, Ranul had selected rock.

"Paper beats rock! And Reds remains the undisputed champion!" The red moogle did a little victory dance as Ranul glared at him.

"Oh yeah? Well, rock beats stupid!" Ranul punched Reds in the face with the hand he'd used to select rock. Reds was knocked on the ground and a catfight ensued, with Summer watching with a bored expression on her face. The fight was broken up by the elevator nearby to make a little 'ding' as it carried a passenger to the floor they were on. A black and purple moogle came out of the elevator, riding on the half-couch Summer had left there earlier. Apparently, this moogle had made it into some kind of car, with wheels and a steering wheel.

"HI," the new arrival yelled. "MY NAME IS PERSECUTION. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME PER."

"HI," Reds yelled back, forgetting all about the scuffle with Ranul. "YOU'RE HOT."

"I KNOW," Per giggled, Reds looked baffled. Most girls he said that to blushed or did something.

"Wow, Reds. Someone more vain than you," Ranul commented dryly.

"SO. WHERE AM I?" Per continued to yell.

"UM. IN HELL," Reds said. "SATAN IS DOWN THERE." The red moogle pointed at the staircase that led to the training room. At that very moment, Zeki popped out.

"THAT'S SATAN?" Per yelled, then realised she knew that moogle. "WHOA! ZEKI! YOU BECAME SATAN? DID HE RETIRE OR SOMETHING"

"OMG PER." Zeki squealed as she tackled the black and purple moogle. "How'd you get here?"

"Well," Per began, not yelling anymore and instead speaking in a voice little kids call an indoor voice. "I was on Ivalice, but everything was being stupid there. Clan Borzoi was all, 'oh were gona b da rulas of ivalice' and Clan Nutsy, which I think is a pretty fucked up name, was all, 'oh no u arent'. So, I swam south and ended up here," Per yawned. "I'm thirsty."

"Hey Zeki, did you pass the test?" Summer asked out of the blue.

"What test- OH YEAH. That test. Yeah, I passed."

"Is Nick dead?" Ranul asked hopefully.

"No, he's not, kupo," Nick poked his head out of the training room. "And for that comment, you're going next. Get down here." Ranul whined like Noishe from Tales of Symphonia, but complied.

"Kill Nick for me!" Reds and Summer called down at the same time.

"So, is Nick in charge of this dump?" Per asked.

"Yeah. And he sucks big time," Reds said. "He wouldn't let me sing."

"So he's Satan?"

All three of the moogles that had been at the army base before Persecution nodded.

"Oh! I have something for him, then," Per jumped down from the half-couch and threw a package down the stairs leading to the training room.

"What is it?" Summer asked, only curious when she was too lazy to be lazy.

"Some package of cheez whiz. I was told Satan eats cheez whiz by some guy named Weird Al," Per yawned as if delivering a package to the Devil was a perfectly normal activity everyone engaged in at least once in a lifetime. "So, can I join this freaking army?"

"Ask Nick," Zeki replied. "He'll make you take some stupid test. Made me walk in a straight line and stuff"

"Why?" All of the other moogles chorused.

"Said something about making sure I was sober or something," Zeki shrugged. "He should know by now that if I were drunk, I'd be a lot worse and this place would only be a distant memory and a pile of ashes."

"That's stupid," Per said. "He should test you on character and skills, not on brain status."

"…What the-"

"Oh, did I say that? I meant he should test you on making sandwiches and attacking mills."

"If all we had to do was make a sandwich," Reds said. "We'd pass easily. I mean, how do you fail at making a sandwich? Put the peanut butter and jelly on the outside of the bread and drop it in some swamp?"

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe…

"Argh! God damn!" Lloyd Irving muttered. "I failed at making a sandwich!"

Back in Mewt's fantasy world that was like Final Fantasy in the place deemed hell by some moogles…

"…When is Ran gonna get back?" Zeki wailed, wanting something to do. Whenever she was bored, she'd poke Ranul, since he had a different noise for each time he was poked. One time he played an entire symphony when he started running out of things to say.

"Oh, so you don't care about the marvellous Reds?" the vain moogle pretended to look hurt. "I'm offended."

"Good. I hate your guts," Zeki said. "Now let's spell nifty in Chinese."

"Wait- Wuh?" Summer was lost in the stream of conversation, since it changed topic too quickly, from guts to spelling nifty in Chinese.

"How do you spell nifty," Per asked. "In Chinese?"

"Ytfin," Reds muttered. "What's taking Ranul so long?"

Suddenly, the black and grey moogle came bursting up the stairs, breathing heavily and audibly like he was in pain.

"UGH," Ranul exclaimed, where a nasty word he said has been censored out. "GOTTA CRAP!" He sped off in the general direction of the dorms, deciding that dorms are were bathrooms are.

"omg g3t bk h3r3 u w0rtl3$ th1ng!!!111111111" Nick yelled in chatspeak, chasing after Ranul.

"We're never going to get our tests done," Summer muttered.

"Your mom never got her tests done," Reds said in a monotone voice. "In bed."

"Reds can make anything perverted," Per observed, even though it was obvious.

"Give me any sentence and I'll do that."

"I read a fortune cookie that said, 'Always consult others before taking unusual actions'," Summer said.

"Always consult others before taking unusual actions in bed," Reds yawned. "Gimme another one."

"Never kiss an elephant on the lips."

"In bed."

"We should go on a great adventure."

"In bed," Reds winked at all the moogles, who just all happened to be female. All three slapped him. It's apparent that Reds gets slapped a lot. When Summer stood up to go slap Reds, a half-couch appeared underneath her before she actually got over to the perverted moogle. Per just stared at it.

"How did you do that?" She asked.

"I don't know!" Summer slapped Reds. Not for what Per said. For flirting with her earlier. "I just happen to have half of a couch appear under me whenever I sit down, then when a stand up again!" The dust coloured moogle went back over to sit in the half-couch she made.

"It's like birth," Zeki said. "First, you don't know how it happened, but it keeeeeeps happening. Then you find out that it was Reds's fault."

"Look, I'm too sexy for all of you, and-"

"Ooowwwwww!" Ranul cried as he was dragged by the ear as Nick got him back into the training room. "But I had to crap! Why are you taking it out on meeeeeee?"

"Because, kupo, in your haste in getting to the bathrooms, you broke several doors," Nick grit his teeth. "And you'll be fixing them if you pass this test."

"What if he doesn't pass the test?" Per asked innocently.

"Then you guys fix the doors."

"What if we don't pass the test either?" Reds asked, wanting to get out of as much work as possible so he could spend more time flirting with the hot girls at a bar.

"I already passed the test!" Zeki wailed.

"Then Zeki will be fixing the doors," Nick replied as he dragged Ranul down to the training room to resume training and to show him how to fix a door.

"Ranny, pass the test or I'll hurt you," Zeki said menacingly before Ranul completely disappeared from sight.

"ZEKI'S GOING TO RAPE ME IF I FAIL THE TEST!" Ranul screamed.

"No! Even worse," Reds yelled down. "I'll rape you."

A terrified scream told them that Ranul heard them, but then it was cut off by a joyous cry.

"Ice cream!"

"What? I didn't get ice cream when I did my test!" Zeki sulked. "Sob, sob, sob. I'm going to emo in this corner, plz k thnx."

The white moogle went over into the said corner, sat down and just stared at the wall.

"Um. So, what do we do now?" Summer asked ten minutes after Zeki had gone into the Emo Corner of Omg.

"Congratulate the best private that Nick has ever seen," Ranul came up the stairs, a grin on his moogle face. "He says I'm the best shooter who has no background experience with handling a gun."

"Why did you scream ice cream down there?" Per asked.

"Oh. I mistook the gun for ice cream. That's all," Ranul shrugged.

"Who are you?" Nick asked Per.

"Persecution," Per replied.

"Why are you here?"

"I swam here because Ivalice sucks."

"…Ok, so you want to join?"

"Whatev, I'll join," Per shrugged. "Since Zeki is."

"Alright, then, kupo," Nick pointed at Reds. "Your turn, Reds."

"I'll do better than you, Ranul," The red moogle yawned as he went downstairs before Nick did.

"Oh, and who sent me this kupo package with cheez whiz in it?" Nick asked.

"I did, they said you were Satan and I had a package for Satan," Per replied like it was normal. "Go train Redsssssssssss."

Utterly confused on the cheez whiz entirely, the commander simply decided to ignore the stupidity and go downstairs to get Reds to do his test. Zeki was done emoing, since Reds was gone. Reds's disappearance makes Zeki happy. When Zeki is happy, significantly less people get their heads blown off.

"Ok. What now?" Per asked, bored out of her mind. "Do we play some game or something?"

"I vote we play checkers," Summer said.

"We have four people, we can't play checkers with four people," Zeki said. "How about kiwi football?"

"KIWI FOOTBALL!" This game was a favourite amongst these weirdoes. They didn't have a soccer/football, so they took a kiwi and used it instead. Yes, the fruit kiwi. Not a kiwi bird. And the rule was that whenever you touched the ball, you had to say the thing the last person who touched the ball said and something of your own. The game wasn't called Kiwi Soccer because Zeki had invented it and Zeki was… British?

Anyways, they raided the messhall and got several kiwis. They needed more than one because Summer sometimes got lazy and sat on the kiwi. After a half hour of playing, Reds came back, announced he had to take the test twice, then began playing Kiwi Football with the rest of the people. Right as Nick went up the stairs, Zeki screamed, 'Captain Crunch lives in a pineapple under the sea!' and kicked the kiwi so hard it went whoosh! Right by here and went plop! On Nick's head. Since they had been kicking it around, the kiwi had exploded on the commander's head.

"I'm not even going to ask, kupo," Nick said flatly, then beckoned for Summer to come take her test of admittance as he wiped kiwi from his head and onto the ground. Then they left, and the others resumed playing a new game of Kiwi Football. After a while, Summer came back and Per got to take her test of doom. Both moogles had passed, so the group of five celebrated that all of them would be privates together.

"Alright kupos, go down to the dorm rooms and go into the private wing. It's labelled, so if you can read, you'll know where it is. Choose a room that isn't taken and then go to the messhall to get something to eat. Then go back to your room and go to sleep. You'll be waking early tomorrow, so make sure you get a lot of sleep," Nick went down to the messhall himself to get some food as the others went to go get a room.

"How do we know if a room is taken or not?" Zeki asked as they went down the hall of doors.

"I dunno. We poke our heads in each one, I guess," Ranul replied. Per giggled.

"I want to try it first!" the black and purple moogle exclaimed, bursting into the nearest room. It wasn't taken.

"Damn, that's no fun."

"Oh, well. Let's go get food," Reds said. "I'm starving!"

They retraced their steps down the private wing and got back to the haven, where they proceeded to the messhall from there. The food was utter crap. It's worse than school food.

"Ugh! I can even cook better stuff than this!" Per said, holding her nose at the quivering pile of mass on her tray.

"Maybe you're not supposed to eat it," Zeki said. "Maybe we're supposed to throw it at Nick."

"Yeah!" All of the other moogles said, picking up some of the "food" and looking for Nick. The commander was nowhere to be found.

"That sucks," Summer gave up and tried eating the food instead. She gagged. "Are they trying to poison us?"

"Privates get the worst food," A taller moogle said, wearing a red uniform, meaning that he was an officer, who was carrying a tray of edibles. "Once you get moved up, you get better food than that." Before any of them could beg him to share the food with them, he walked off.

"Bleh," Ranul decided he was hungry enough to devour this thing. So, he opened his mouth and ate it all in one bite. "Ugh! Worst thing I've ever eaten in my life!"

Deciding that they'd need to eat this thing, too, they all ate their food silently, then left the messhall to go back to their rooms, where they found a note and five blue uniforms they obviously were supposed to put on, laying on a couch. The note read:

_Dear Ranul, Zeki, Summer, Per and Reds,_

_It appears you have chosen room 9 as your own. The schedule attached it very important. Bear in mind that you will have to be punctual in where you get to or you'll get cleanup duty in the messhall or restrooms.  
All times are shown in military time, which the digital watches your uniforms come with go by. The watches are in the pockets of the black pants they come with. In the closet of this room, you'll find a lot of basic furniture for your room, such as beds and drawers. The better you do in the army, the more things you'll get for your room. It's your job, meaning all of your jobs, to keep your room tidy and to be on time for everything.  
Get used to life quickly in the army or you'll have a miserable time,_

_With love,  
Commander Nick Osny_

_PS. You'll have to refer to me as Commander Osny when I am around from now on or I'll punish you._

_PPS. I hate you all._

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**Oh, man. I love this story. I crack up whenever I imagine a half-couch appearing under poor Summer and she doesn't know how it's happening.**


End file.
